Musings of a Louisville St. Louisan

Ten and a half months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Leonardo Eaven Inman (we call him Leo). If you have been following my writing, you would know Leo's middle name, Eaven, is in honor of his big sister, Ezraela Eaven , who is waiting for us in heaven. The last two and a half years since we lost her have been some of the most challenging years of my life. This is the first Mother's Day since I lost Ezraela that I can find a deep joy in my children. All of my children. Each of their lives, no matter how long or so very short, had meaning and value. And they will all three be forever engraved on my heart.  Dear Leonardo Eaven Inman - A Letter to My Rainbow Baby Written on January 20, 2016 As I rock you gently tonight, holding you closely, watching your chest rise up and down as you breathe, I cannot help but think of her, my sweet boy. Your precious closed eyes and long lashes as they graze your soft skin. I wonder what she would have looked like. Would she...

   Just last week we celebrated my daughter’s fourth birthday. Every 365 days she gains another year I always marvel at how quickly the past year has gone. In our house we celebrate birthday week, which included a park play date party and also a weekend camping trip with friends. If there is anything I have learned to strive to do, it is to cherish the moments you have with your children because you never know how long they will last. You never know how many birthdays they will have. Alexandria's First Birthday Alexandria's Fourth Birthday Today should have been the first birthday of my second daughter, Ezraela Eaven . Because of all of the excitement about Alexandria’s birthday and also the impending birth of my third child, May 29 snuck up on me. After we were done with Alexandria’s birthday week, I began to reflect on what this week would have looked like for Ezraela, had she made it past 18 weeks gestation. I remember bits and pieces of ...

  Last week I did something stupid.  It probably lists on the top ten most asinine things that Dorothy Inman has ever done. I kid you not. Wait for it...I ran into a light pole. It was dark, rainy, I was horridly (like your entire face feels like elephants are dancing on it, can't sleep at night) sick, tired and had pregnancy brain. I wasn't even going ten miles an hour and the small hole that was in the bumper was, when you are thinking of things that could happen in an accident, one of the smallest problems you would ever worry about when you thought, "Oh my gosh, what if I got in an accident". My daughter was in the car with me and we both started crying. Not because we were hurt, but because we were scared. Mostly because even at less than 10 miles an hour apparently if you hit a light pole, your air bag will deploy. If you have never had that happen before, trust me, it is freakin' scary. It's even more scary when you are 21 ...

    ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,      ‘and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves,      and you have not noticed?’ “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please      and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,      and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today      and expect your voice to be heard on high. Isaiah 58:3-4   It's that time of the year when men and women alike give up their most prized possession in order to reflect more on, do more for and get closer to God. Me?  I realized not too many months ago that I have an addiction problem. When I wake up in the morning, it is the first thing I do and before I go to sleep at night, it is the last thing I check. What is that thing? Facebook. Although I still check my notifications and messa...

Both doors of the world Stand Open Opened to you at twilight We hear the doors slamming and slamming And we hear what can't be known And we hear what's green in your always Paul Celan  New Years Eve has been set aside as a time to reflect on the year that is passing and resolve to make the next year better.  Every year, at 11:50 (in their respective time zones), the world counts down to 12:00, while in New York a bedazzled disco ball drops from Times Square in New York. When the clock strikes midnight, you kiss your significant other and sing "Auld Lang Syne" with 100 of your closest friends while clutching a glass of champagne in your hand. The New Year has begun. Instagram, Twitter and Facebook is instantly filled with pictures of parties, quiet celebrations and greetings of "Happy New Year." Last New Year's Eve I greeted the New Year in a hospital bed.  Just a few minutes before midnight, at 18 weeks pregnant, I gave birth to my ...