Showing posts from July, 2014

Silver Linings

It has been six months since I lost my Ezraela Eaven .  Her due date has come and gone.  She would have been 4 weeks old.  When I look down and I see that my arms are empty, my heart heart breaks.  There is a certain song we sing at church and every time I hear it I cry.  Each verse of the song makes me relive that terrible day.  Seeing a new baby, reading birth announcements or gender announcements on Facebook still makes my heart sink.  As I write this at my favorite bagel joint, my eyes are still tearing up.  I still remember the day that she was born dead and I held her in the palm of my hand.  However, as time has passed I have been able to see a little bit of sunshine through the rain.  Despite the fact that I am a melancholic, I have always tried to be an optimistic person, looking for the good in things even when they are devastatingly horrendous.  With all of the suffering I have experienced in my life, that is the only way I have found to survive it.  (However, if you k