Musings of a Louisville St. Louisan

Thankful for Pink I have done a lot of reflecting over the past 11 months.  I have done a lot of grieving and a lot of changing (whether intentional or unintentional, for better or worse).  If there is one thing I have been trying to learn, and trying to learn to do well, it is to be thankful.  I haven't been perfect at it and in some ways I haven't even been trying, but it is an unexpected flood that has come out of the pain that this last year has brought me.  There have been moments that I would have normally let pass, as if they were vapors, that I now know to tuck deep down into my soul, in hopes they would nourish every part of me.  Moments that I hope to remember for the rest of my life.  Moments that would mold me into the human I am to become.   This time last year I was 14 weeks pregnant.  I was tired and nauseous.  I had a two and a half year old and she was pressing every button ever known to man (and some unknown buttons)...

   Just another Manic Monday...which started on Sunday. We have been having issues with our now three and a half year old little girl staying in her bed at night (and going to bed at night, but I digress). She's had sleeping problems since she was a newborn.  For every 2 months of good sleeping, we get 8 months of bad sleeping.  When she was a baby and we were out of town she managed to get a really bad cold, so the co-sleeping began.  I always said that I would NEVER co-sleep, but the joke was on me.  Her sleeping issues have not always resulted in her sleeping with us, but lately, more often than not, that has been the case.  The recent bout started in July (shortly after her third birthday) and has been going on for almost four months.  Some nights, she will come in after we have already gone to sleep and I do not know she is in there until I wake up in the morning (ah, those blessed mornings).  However, some nights ...

Yew Dell Gardens   To err is human; to forgive, divine. Alexander Pope When I was in college I made an observation about my mother that would forever change my view of her:  my mom was always quick to forgive her children and she never held grudges against them.  On the journey to becoming an adult, when I reflected on my childhood, I realized that even though I was a "good" kid, I still treated my family, especially my mom, pretty crappy at times.  After I got married our relationship changed.  She was no longer a mother authoritarian figure, but a mother friend.  She would always pick up the phone when I called and any time I was short with her, she was (and is) still eager to forgive.   My Mom and Some of the Grandkids In the book, "Something Other Than God", Jennifer Fulwiler, an atheist who was searching for God, relays a comical story about her son and mother.  At the time she had an 18 month old son and was very preg...

    "Suffering allows others the opportunity to share heroic acts of love.  So often, suffering can lead to growth in charity and in love for the those near the one who suffers.  Christian charity will continue to exist as long as we have suffering.  'Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me.'"     Kari You may remember when I spoke about starting a support group for women who have suffered a miscarriage back at the end of May on the due date of our baby girl, Ezraela Eaven (who I miscarried back on December 31, 2013 when I was 18 weeks pregnant}.  The summer seemed to go by at lightening speed.  In late July, after speaking with several women who I knew that had experienced a miscarriage, I began the group, "Miscarriage Not Anonymous" on Facebook.  Personally, this group has provided me a bevy of support, encouragement and a safe place to cry or vent.  I have been in awe of the stories that the women have ...

Acrylic on Canvas by Dorothy Inman It has been a little over three weeks since that fateful Saturday afternoon when an unarmed African American teen, Michael Brown, was shot by a white police officer, Darren Wilson, in Ferguson, MO.  To be quite honest, I have had a  difficult time wrapping my brain around everything that has transpired and how I, a Christ follower, should respond to this tragedy.  I've had Facebook friends who were quick to say that Michael Brown's shooter was a racist, bigot and deserved to be hanged on the spot.  And others join groups to raise money for the cop and his family or and saying this shouldn't be a "white" and "black" issue because racism doesn't exist anymore.  I have read comments on pages regarding the incident where people have encouraged the African American population to stop shopping and supporting at white places of business.  I have also witnessed other people saying that Mike Brown deserved to be shot.  P...

I dedicate this blog to my foodie champion mom Vicki Smith.  Since I lost my little girl, Ezraela on 12.31.2013 at 18 weeks pregnant, I have not felt like cooking, much less posting a food blog.  However, every time I did post a picture of what I made for dinner(as I realized eating out every night probably couldn't continue unless you were indeed a Gilmore Girl with very high metabolism and a rocket high food budget), she was the first to tell me how amazing it looked.  Her sweet daughter, Jamie Rose Smith (who is one of my IC sisters) told me the other day that her mom gets so excited when I post those pictures.  So, Vicki, this one is for you.  This is definitely a milestone towards recovery for me.    Get In My Belly! Mexican food is a staple in our house.  And when we go out to eat, half of the time it is to a Mexican restaurant.  Sometimes we eat it once a week and sometimes we eat it four times a week.  Why, you may...